I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, during the peak of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several critically acclaimed comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this winter.

The Story and That Line

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to track down a criminal. For much of the story, the crime storyline acts as a basic structure for Arnold to film humorous moments with his young class. Without a doubt the standout involves a child named Joseph, who unprompted announces and declares the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Arnold replies icily, “Thank you for that information.”

The boy behind the line was brought to life by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a notable part on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the Olsen twins and the pivotal role of the resurrected boy in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with a slate of movies on the horizon. He also frequently attends popular culture events. Recently shared his experiences from the filming of the classic after all this time.

Memories from the Set

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Sometimes it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess makes sense. It would be strange if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I knew the air around him — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be dangling there. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the hottest tech out there, that funky old yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It eventually broke. I also have a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being fun?

You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the other children would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all childhood recollections.

The Infamous Moment

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember the context? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I knew it was provocative and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given an exception in this case because it was humorous.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it was conceived, according to family lore, was they were still developing characters. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they developed it during shooting and, presumably it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.